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Wednesday, September 28, 2016

Story in Progress

Evelyn’s Thursday morning began like any other, although it would prove to be very unusual. Her alarm goes off at 6:00 am with a startling nasal tone. Evelyn rolls over and groans, eyes covered in sleep and dark blonde hair stacked on her head pointing every which way. She rubs her eyes and looks around the dim room. Momentarily, she feels the serenity of the darkness and imagines the comfort of seeping back into the blankets and into slumber. Click. She flips the switch on her bedside lamp and the room is flooded with soft yellow light. The contrast is so striking that she must scrunch her eyes and squint until they adjust. She slips on her bunny slippers before walking out across the cold hard wood floor to the kitchen. The kitchen is dark, empty, and almost silent apart from the soft static of the radio. Evelyn frowns as she pulls out the coffee pot to find it empty, nothing but shiny metallic staring up at her from the bottom.
“Francis?” she calls out to her roommate; there is no reply. Evelyn lets out a deep breath and turns off the radio. She stands in the middle of the kitchen for a moment, hands on hips as she looks around and ponders different thoughts. Where could Francis be, her roommate was always up early. Usually by the time Evelyn walked in to the kitchen Francis would be there, flipping pancakes and singing along to the radio. Usually the coffee would be made hot, steamy, and fragrant. Evelyn started the coffee pot and walked to Francis’ room door. Knock, knock, knock “Hello? You in there?” still no reply. She rests her hand on the doorknob, then lets it fall back to her side. Francis likes her privacy and hates it when people go in her room while she’s not home. Maybe she took the day off? Evelyn thinks to herself on the other hand she could be sleeping but how rude to not answer my knocking. Bewildered, she wanders back to the kitchen and pours the freshly brewed coffee into her favorite mug. She’s taking a sip when she notices the clock on the stove says 6:36 am. “Oh dear” she mumbles, she had completely lost track of time. She shuffles her way to her room holding her now sloshing coffee mug and rushes around to prepare for the day. Dress? Skirt? Jeans? Shirt? It’s all a blur to her as she grasps the first decent outfit she can find. Plopping down in front of the mirror she slaps on her makeup.
            Twenty minutes later she is ready to go. Crisp white t-shirt with a wrinkled cardigan and the good old blue jeans. Evelyn glances nervously to her roommate’s bedroom door. This was all very unlike Francis, but she decides to just give her a call later. Evelyn walks out into the frosty morning air, scrunching her arms in closer to her body and noticing the puffs of her hot breath. She locks the front door and walks to her car to head for work.
The small townhouse is left dark and silent, dirty dishes still in the sink from last night’s dinner and the coffee pot half full. Francis’ room is cold and feels isolated; it usually appears bare and neat unlike the rest of the full home, scattered with furniture, empty blankets, and random knick-knacks. Today her room is crowded. Papers are spread along the floor and jumping up the walls on thumbtacks. Her bed is occupied with stacked brown boxes and clothes piled high as possible. No room for the sleeping Francis that Evelyn had suspected. No sign of her anywhere.
Evelyn calls Francis after pulling into her parking space at work. Back home there is a ringing in Francis’ room coming from somewhere within the mess. Evelyn nervously taps the steering wheel as the cell goes to voice mail. This is so unlike her she begins to worry should I leave a message? The phone beeps “Hey, it’s Evelyn.” How do I say this? I don’t’ wanna be weird if she’s just fine. “I was just wondering what you’re doing today? I’m thinking maybe we should get takeout for dinner tonight. Uhh. I gotta talk to you about something so call me back soon!” That should do it. Evelyn gets out of the car and is walking through the parking lot when her phone starts ringing. She smiles, sure it is Francis returning her call. “Hey!”
“Evelyn?” Francis’ voice is very soft but Evelyn is just happy to know she is okay.
“I am SO glad to hear from you! Where have you be-“
“Where are you? I need you to meet me. Now.”
“I’m at work.. I just got here.” Evelyn twirls her hair around, something she does when she is tense. What is going on?
“This is an emergency. We could be in a lot of trouble. I need to go. Meet me at our brunch spot. No one can know.” Click. Evelyn looks around disgruntled and confused. She looks down at her phone and notices that the number was unknown. Summoning up every bit of her courage, she walks back to the car. She’s hoping this isn’t some kind of prank while at the same time hoping it is so that everything can be okay. A sense of insecurity is gnawing at her gut, she feels like something is wrong. She stares at her reflection in the car mirror for a moment, looking into her hazel eyes and trying to find the appearance of courage. At a loss she closes her eyes, leaning her head back, and takes a deep, shaky breath before pushing her uncertain feelings aside and placing her hands on the wheel.
The café is warm and filled with the sound of gentle music, clinking mugs, and coffee being brewed. A small figure sits in the corner behind a newspaper, almost like something you would see out of the movies. Evelyn walks in and looks around at all the faces but she sees no sign of Francis. She walks up to the counter and orders her regular white mocha. The Barista tries to make small talk but Evelyn is very obviously distracted as she continues to glance around the café. The barista gives up after listening to a few halfhearted mumbles and hands Evelyn her drink.
            Psst. Pssstt. Evelyn whips around startled to see Francis sitting in the corner behind the newspaper, hardly recognizable with her hair up in a baseball cap. Francis never wore hats like that. Evelyn rushes to the second seat at the table and speculates Francis’ condition as they speak.
“What is happening?” Evelyn asks with a frantic whisper. Francis has deep bags under her brown eyes which are smeared with day old mascara. Her regular stupid-sweet grin is replaced with an empty stare, no trace of emotion but a small wrinkle between her eyebrows.
“Wait, first.” Francis holds up the newspaper to shield their faces, making it appear as if they are reading it together. She takes a deep breath and makes eye contact with Evelyn. “I’m so sorry.” Her voice shakes and she looks as if she is ready to cry.
“What happened? I’m sure we can work everything out Fran, you just gotta talk to me.” Evelyn feels afraid but wants to appear calm to Francis. Francis is not fooled but needs to get out the point of this discussion. She takes a gulp of her coffee with trembling hands and begins,

“I have a secret. My name is not Francis.”

Castle of Shadows and Secrets

Trees stare down at me,
dark and ominous
from the edges of this dusty path I walk down.
It must be evening, approaching night
because they cast spider web shadows
with their boney branches
under the overcast sky
I reach the end of the road to find a looming castle.
It appears empty, left, forgotten.
A gnawing curiosity drives me
to the huge wooden doors.
I heave one open crawling into the
cold, deep, darkness.
Endless hallways in every direction
with windows letting in stark moonlight.
The place is damp and frozen with stone.
Fear seeps through the dead walls into my soul,
but there’s no turning back.
I choose the path straight ahead,
a large staircase winding around the walls.
Each step is now muted with the deep
red carpet covering the stairs.
I hold the smooth banister and
peek around the corner to the next floor up.
The second floor is much like the first,
but more closed off,
more confined,
more shadowed.
Startled, I spin to a clatter behind me.
On the steps below are two guards staring up.
Menacing stances equipped with burnished spears.
I cannot see much under their helmets,
but I am quick to notice their white boney wrists.
I spin back up the stairs and
set off to the left to be met by two more guards.
One of these two is missing a helmet
And I am revealed the complete horrible truth.
Empty eye sockets and glistening teeth.
The smoothness of his skull glowing in the moonlight.
For a moment I am stuck with fear,
my small body grounded.
They begin to lunge forward and
I flip around to run the opposite way,
hardly missing the claws of a skeleton.
I run straight,
Trying not to look back.
I can’t help it.
I glance over my shoulder to see four chasing me,
and more joining in from the staircase.
Silver armor clanking up and down, brandishing spears
My world becomes bright,
then dark,
and bright again as I pass the stacks of windows.
This reminds me of long car rides,
I wish I could close my eyes
And wake up there
Far away from here
Far away from harm.
I can’t run forever, my lungs burn for oxygen
My body telling me to stop.
I feel as if I have been running for hours,
The empty hallways never end,
They flip and turn,
Always revealing a new path.
I spot a door cracked open,
I rush inside and slam it shut behind me, locking it quickly.
The room is small and lit dimly with candles.
I see no way out.
The pounding on the door begins
 I sink to the icy floor in defeat,
Sucking air in and out of my lungs.
I finally close my eyes.
It’s over.
On the opposite wall lies a small grate,
maybe my only escape.
I pry the grate from the wall in desperation and shove it to the side.
Crawling into the small tunnel is easy, I fit perfectly.
My heart leaps as I hear a loud CLANG
the door has been breached.
With my last glance back I see a guards face,
glaring down the tunnel at me.
They are too big to fit, about twice my size.
I continue forward until I reach the source of the light.
A glowing red gem, encompassed by a sparkling skull.
I feel drawn to the power of the light,
entranced,
yearning to know what it is.
I reach out to touch it and am suddenly shaking
As the floor rumbles and rotates like a revolving door.
I find myself in a large room.
At first I notice the many candles,
until my sight wanders further.
I see the giant stairs,
At the top is a throne,
stone like everything else but fixed with jewels around the edges.
The resting place for a glaring queen.
She wears a giant black dress,
So long is flows down the steps.
Her beautiful crown has spikes sharp enough to kill.
I stand facing her with the crystal skull in my arms,

Frozen.

Tuesday, September 15, 2015

Don't you Forget Me

Don't you forget me
but leave me drying softly.

I don't want anything to do with you.

Fight me,
don't you love me.
save me from
this place i've gotten into.

Wouldn't you like,
like to feel calmer.
like to be better
off with family.

Kiss our soft inclined cheekbones,
don't let your thoughts fool you.
Just hold us and let your tears fall freely.

I do miss you,
I wish we knew better
of a sooner happy ending
and a heartfelt welcoming

give me all you ever wanted
and feel the warmth entering your soul.
i am yours
as long as your yearning is pure.

Saturday, March 9, 2013

To The Unseen

To the unseen,
what might you look like?
Where our eyes fail to reach you may we touch you.
To know all of what you are as the blind may spindle their way through grains of plastic in invisible books. Memorize each crevasse and line of your face with our fingertips.
May we catch you in our fingernails and hold you there until your taste and smell may sink into our senses. Pungent white filled odor and a dough like empty taste. Not quite air, not that full. Just a cloud of blank; a symphony of silence resting on our tastebuds. The way a starless night invades our thoughts.
If we were to spray your form in sticky paint, would it illuminate your figure, so we may watch as you shine.
Or would it just sink through you, as in slow motion water. White paint strings dripping through open space, we should call it glue as we hope it will glue you to our lives but paint seems so much friendlier. Our eyes magnitude to watch only the drops, as they splat to the surface and inch over every pebble and bump until we could dip into it with our toes.
How do you appear so inexistent, teach us your secrets so we may follow the path.
Do you stroke our hair while we lay in silent nightmares. Body too cold and frozen out of fear, stuck in a blizzard where our cries come out as dust and we look down to realize we are no more than a skeleton; holding onto life by threads too soft to break but so stale they might suddenly snap. Then we’ll fall into our own nightmares, the fright of our souls and silences of our youth.
Will you have your arms, wrapped round up to our chin when we wake and convulse into chest wrenching sobs. Soak your shirt with our tears, pat our back when we choke on the salt that drips back into our lungs and threatens to drown us.
So impossible to really hold you in our eyes, or arms, or tongues.
But when we know you’re here, really need the extra pair of eyes.
We know our head will see you no matter what, or else you wouldn’t appear every time.

Dark Poem

I may have posted this before, probably with a different title but this is  heavily edited version.

Drip, drip, drip, goes the steady water’s drop from the eerie, low lit lamp.
And she sits crumpled up on her side, in a bundle, twisted up, both inside and out.
The cool damp cement is grinding into her cheek and pulling her streaming eyes into a lowly drooping state.
Cold prickles her skin, up and down her arms, to wrap over her back and shiver down her legs, so that her hair stands on end and goosebumps arise.
Flashing through her mind, a familiar well built figure glaring down with eyes that blocked out every trickle of murmurs which spilled from her feeble lips.
She flinches, hands held tight, curled to fists, ready for the fight replayed on the big screen in her mind. Her back rolls up and she continues to hit the cold unfriendly gravel worn cement. Her nails scratching criss crosses on the ground, engraving pebbles in to the fragile skin of her fingertips.
She was so hurt, and unable to return any of the pain.
She could only cower in fright, receiving blow after blow on her long broken, never mended body.
So torn apart, ripped up, let down, stood up, she couldn't breath. She lost her life.
But she lived. She lies here today, mind withered dead as a flower wilted in the sun. She was burnt by the rays and couldn't get back up. A shattered mess held down, her heart beats on and through dreams she takes steps to dust and her eyes see picture frames. Each frame holds a flash of the memories, each flash the mark of a new tear wasted as it no longer rests in the cornering pillows of her eyes.
Thud after thud, her heart pulses drumming through her ears but it can't drown out her head, in her head she can hear the sound of the past. Fists on flesh. His fists, her body.
She couldn't stop it, not the action and not the memories now
She drags and bends her arm toward her face for a better look at shaded colors staining her shirt, in the process strewn with fresh splots of the bright crimson on presently dried ovals.
She sees her blood as an oath. An oath on her life of which she feels unworthy. Her eyes are inches from the flowing red, blossoming and growing like a flower of her breath. She wants to lick the sticky substance. To taste the salt and iron that makes her. Maybe if she could pour the pain back into her body it could fix her wounds to newly pink skin.
Her body is just in so much agony. Naturally sore with lazy ran out legs and  masked in scars painted fresh in her wit. Wit of regret, loss of conscious, choking on freedom
and the heart thumping in her chest numb but still hurting from the long lost love.
Warmth in her body and heat in her soul, dizzy spells on her mind, always leaving her with a giggle. Now a ghost. Teeth shown through her smiling lips, corners lifted without thoughts of dialogue. Daisies picked as backhand presents, met with smiles of named cute acts. Picnics next to the setting sun. Time shared, tears shared and love shared.
She still feels each ghastly memory.

Monday, January 28, 2013

Crash

Antagonizing, pushing, faking it with a mask. Anything for it to work is your new way of life,
the wheel is turning but the brakes are burned out. It'll crash at the end of it's run and leave no sound, 
no ghost, no lively imprint. 
Just a few dead scattered bits lining the dismal concrete. We say we won't sell our bodies but then we go forth to sell our souls. One idea after the next shoots from your long dried out lips until you're faking it.
Choking on the sugar coated words as you spit them out. You're really just stalling for one moment more, one moment more. 
Until the moment you crash, just like the deceased wheel. Your crashing and the brakes are burned out so you find your self without an escape. 
You collide.
No scream, no sound, no shout.

Monday, January 7, 2013

Flower

It may sway in the breeze
free to do whatever it may please,
overcome by sunshine rays and flooding rains.
Silly little flower with a dumb lazy smile.
Grazing all day in a dry grass meadow.
No sign of life, enough to suffice,
but only a small weak flower.