Always a slow alphabet of rain
falling on me from above
and puddles form in footstep patterns
leading me back where I came from.
It doesn’t matter anymore, only this downpour.
Seven icy drips hit my face,
my eyelids, cheekbones, and lips.
I am surrounded by water,
and it’s beautiful.
Once more I feel at home
no worry, no stress, just simplicity.
I watch as I come up to the tree covered park,
trees dripping with spray and ponds forming in the shadows.
I long to stay, to seep up the sweetness of this evening.
but alas, it will all be over too soon,
I will drag my way out of this bliss,
back to my busy life,
to my worries and fears.
I sit down on a soaked bench.
right on top of the water bubbling up in a dome
and feel it seep into my jeans.
My clothes are all soaked now
but it doesn’t matter
because it’s like I am one with nature,
with the rain, with the air around me.
Water droplets cover my palms
even when I wipe them around
they choose to stay.
I feel it,
all the emotions I have held up
pouring out like the rain flooding down on me.
I let the first tears drop.
They land most likely on my knees
but I have no way of knowing.
Tear drops mix with rain drops,
so I cannot count my tears.
My body shakes with a steady shiver
from the nape of my neck to my tip toes,
and I feel the heat running down my cheeks
I let myself go..
I let my face look up to the sky and
I sob with the earth,
hot and cold like yin and yang,
and in this moment
I feel endless.
As if I am happy and sad and scared,
All at once.
But I don’t truly feel any of these emotions,
For this time I have taken to come to my senses,
and let it all out,
grasp some reality and hold on tight,
open myself up and lay here