Rainy Daze

Always a slow alphabet of rain

falling on me from above

and puddles form in footstep patterns

leading me back where I came from.

It doesn’t matter anymore, only this downpour.

Seven icy drips hit my face,

my eyelids, cheekbones, and lips.

I am surrounded by water,

and it’s beautiful.

Once more I feel at home

no worry, no stress, just simplicity.

I watch as I come up to the tree covered park,

trees dripping with spray and ponds forming in the shadows.

I long to stay, to seep up the sweetness of this evening.

but alas, it will all be over too soon,

I will drag my way out of this bliss,

back to my busy life,

to my worries and fears.

I sit down on a soaked bench.

right on top of the water bubbling up in a dome

and feel it seep into my jeans.

My clothes are all soaked now

but it doesn’t matter

because it’s like I am one with nature,

with the rain, with the air around me.

Water droplets cover my palms

even when I wipe them around

they choose to stay.

I feel it,

all the emotions I have held up

pouring out like the rain flooding down on me.

I let the first tears drop.

They land most likely on my knees

but I have no way of knowing.

Tear drops mix with rain drops,

so I cannot count my tears.

My body shakes with a steady shiver

from the nape of my neck to my tip toes,

and I feel the heat running down my cheeks

Becoming stronger.

I let myself go..

I let my face look up to the sky and

I sob with the earth,

hot and cold like yin and yang,

and in this moment

I feel endless.

As if I am happy and sad and scared,

All at once.

But I don’t truly feel any of these emotions,

only relief.

For this time I have taken to come to my senses,

and let it all out,

grasp some reality and hold on tight,

open myself up and lay here

Unhinged.